A Pressing Question

…Or, Never Cry “Sphynkie”

I did not sleep last night. Like, at all. I went to bed at 10, as per my HabitRPG requirements, and proceeded to still be awake at 1:30, at which time I got up with full knowledge that, where sleep was concerned, I didn’t have a snowball’s chance in the Fires of Mount Doom (I did manage a few highly-intermittent hours early in the morning).

There are nights that you Just Know (FWIW, I had reason for my assumptions: I didn’t ride my bike yesterday due to a family thing that cropped up; non-riding days + hyperactivity often = insomnia relapse).

Anyway, short story long, I am now sleep deprived, and a circuitous path through the Fires of Mount Internets has caused me to desperately need an answer to this burning question:

If round, furry gay dudes are bears, and skinny, furry gay dudes (particularly those who like round, furry gay dudes) are either wolves or otters…

Swimming Otter

Who *wouldn’t* want this guy at their pool party? (Photo via Wikimedia Commons)

What are skinny, non-furry gay dudes in this context?

Snakes? Naked Mole Rats? Eels? Sphynxes (Sphynges? Sphynxs? Sphynkies?)?

Four Sphynx Cats

Nothing to see here. Walk away. (Photo via Wikimedia Commons.)

For that matter, are round, smooth dudes properly bears, or do we require some kind of additional taxonomy to manage them, as well? I mean, according to canon, Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, bald or not, so technically precedent has been established.

I ask this as something of a perpetu-twink* who is perfectly happy with his perpetu-twinkdom. I’m not having an identity crisis, though part of me would really rather be a cool animal (Heck yeah! Wolves are inspiring! Otters are cute and playful! …But can I realistically be called an otter given the fact that I’m naturally smoother than some babies’ bottoms and I’m a cyclist, so I shave?) than an unhealthy food item, or indeed any food item at all.

Anyway, there’s no offense intended to anyone here. I really admire the Bear community at its best, where it’s all about embracing and celebrating what you already are instead of getting hung up about having exactly no paunch or exactly the right paunch or whatever.

In short, I’m just sleep deprived and horribly, horribly curious. My sense of continuity demands that this matter be fleshed out (no pun intended) appropriately.



*In the most food-item oriented sense, isn’t this pretty much a given? Along with diamonds and facebook, after all, Twinkies™ are forever.

About asher

Me in a nutshell: Blissfully married, ballet-and-bicyle-obsessed gay intersexed boy. Half-baked dancer. Mediocre gravel racer. Learning to live with bipolar disorder. Indiana University Southeast psychology senior (go Grenadiers!). Proto-foodie, but lazy about it. Cat owner ... or, should I say, cat own-ee? ... dog lover. Equestrian.

Posted on 2013/07/29, in life, off-topic, way. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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