Ladies and Gentlemen, Bike Nerds of all ages, I must make an announcement.
I hope you are seated.
If not, perhaps you should sit.
In fact, you may even want to recline, perhaps in a dramatic swoon on a convenient fainting couch. All roadies, in particular, should have fainting couches, the better to highlight the intensity and depth of our suffering. A mere sofa or chair-and-a-half insufficiently reflects the flavor and timbre of our mighty efforts on the bike and the bone-cracking exhaustion that follows. Besides, it is much easier to swoon gracefully on a fainting couch.
Are you seated, or better yet, reclining? Yes? Laid out in your fainting couch, preferably with one arm cast across your pallid brow?
All right. Good.
Now for my announcement:
…Wait for it.
…Wait for it…
I know! It’s horrible! On a Sunday, even — everyone knows that Sunday is when roadies worship at the Church of the Big Ring; when we go out and slay our personal records (and so forth) in an effort to better ourselves.
Right now, as I type this, I am trying (as I desperately refresh my Strava tab) to remember what exactly it was we used to do at home before we had Strava. How we proceeded through the routines and rigors of daily life without first uploading our data, biting our fingernails with excitement, and finding out if we blitzed our records again.
Oh, wait! It’s back.
Never mind. The universe is back in balance. You may now get up from your fainting couches … assuming, of course, that you are sufficiently rested, rehydrated, refueled, etc., after your Sunday Hammerfest.
I knew if I took long enough writing this, Strava would come back up!
Edit: PS — I took out my PR on the Cherokee Overlook climb again, this time by two seconds. Nice way to round out the summer.