Mostly Not About The Bike: Can’t Trust This Feelin’

Right now, I feel more like my usual optimistic, hyperactive self than I have felt in months.

In the past, I would’ve assumed that this just meant that I was in a good mood.  The past year has left me with a more complex, nuanced reality: I cannot simply assume that I’m in a good mood; it’s like this observer part of me has broken away and is watching to see  if this is really the on-ramp to mania.

I’m not going to say it doesn’t feel good to feel better.  It does.  I’m also not going to say that I don’t intend to enjoy this uptick.  I just think I probably ought to try not to over-enjoy it.

Like many athletes, I am evidently programmed to drive myself really hard the minute I start to feel anything like normal (I am, after all, the guy who rode around on a broken tibia in total denial for weeks).  Learning to back off the gas a little and take it easy is a challenge for me.  Perhaps it’s one I should learn to approach with the same aplomb that I approach everything else.

It’s time for class, so I need to close for now.

Rubber side down, folks!

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About asher

Me in a nutshell: Blissfully married, ballet-and-bicyle-obsessed gay intersexed boy. Half-baked dancer. Mediocre gravel racer. Learning to live with bipolar disorder. Indiana University Southeast psychology senior (go Grenadiers!). Proto-foodie, but lazy about it. Cat owner ... or, should I say, cat own-ee? ... dog lover. Equestrian.

Posted on 2014/03/06, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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